Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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