God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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