the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
