She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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