he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
