ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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