Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
