I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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