Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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