meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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