his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
