I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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