Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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