he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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