I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
