dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
