I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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