My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
