She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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