i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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