don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
