That's when you crack a 10am beer
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
last night I used snow as a chaser
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
