Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
