WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
