I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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