Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize