i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
