at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
