Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
