tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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