I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
