Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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