Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
