Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
