8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
