I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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