I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
