I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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