Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
