I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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