I like to think it a success when the cops are called
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this hospital has no fireball
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
