On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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