I will die if light touches me.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she told me i tasted like america
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
