I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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