once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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