fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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