Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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