She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
