WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Randomize
