Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize