I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
