Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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