drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
