he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
