Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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