Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
