haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
