So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
